A Life Worth Living

When Cullen came to us he was nothing more than 4lbs of bones and fur, not that he wasn’t cared for, but being the runt of the litter didn’t give him the chance to thrive at his start. For that reason alone I never envisioned him being capable of hiking all 48 4,000ft. mountains in NH. However, we currently only have two hikes left until Cullen is officially the smallest dog ever to have accomplished such an overwhelming task, and we’ll get nominated into the elite AMC 4,000 footer club.

There was a point in my time when I lost the true meaning of this life. Not that I was depressed, my support system was top notch, but I was eager. I knew that there was more to life than the average day-to-day lifestyle most of us fall into; waking up, working, dinner, and bedtime. As I continued to spend more time with Cullen he and I would go for hikes that led me to unspeakable beauty, excitement, and enchantment. As we both continued to grow I realized our hikes turned into journeys, I was starting to live a life I was content with.

I was no longer bound to a schedule that choked my happiness, and I was breathing deeper than I ever had. The mountain air filled my core with purity and gratification. After Cullen and I had hiked our first 4,000 footer, which at the time was truly challenging, we were hooked. So, Saturday January 7, 2012 we took on the challenge to stand atop all 48, and as of Thursday May 30, 2013 we have stood on the summit of all but four of them, leaving us with two hikes to go. The experiences we have shared in those mountains are beyond the words I could write, and no right adjective, sentence, blog, or book will ever be able to justify or grasp what we have been through together. All I can do is write down the truth and hope that gives enough insight on how special our time spent together is.

We are all capable of overcoming such empowering and testing challenges. We all have the control to make whatever change we want, and make whatever dreams reality. What’s required is the courage to accept the change that comes along with the journey. I know now that I am much changed from the person I was before these mountain tops. I am able and comfortable to live my life the way I want to remember, and not be blindsided by society’s distractions.

This would not have been possible without the courageousness of a particular Min Pin. His love for the outdoors has led me to peace and understanding. We are all meant to live a life of adventure and exploration, just having the bravery to reach out and grab this thrill is the hard part, due to the stagnant lifestyle so many have come accustomed to living.

We will soon be finishing with the 48; this is something that has been weighing heavy on my mind. What is next for us? I only hope that we are able to embark on another journey together, where I am able to grow and learn from the time spent with Cullen. To trail him as we travel through another challenge many would think too great for him.

There is much more to this life than just living. We are not doing ourselves and this world any good unless we find a friend of great value and make memories that brighten the darkest of days. Trust in friendship and be certain that the bond made will withstand even the harshest of hits. Go live the life you dream of with the ones that mean the most, for that is a life well lived…

A life worth remembering.                

Happy Trails

Our hike up Mt. Carrigain was much more fulfilling and beautiful compared to much of the others. Not only because of the crisp gushing rivers, the panoramic views from the fire tower, or Washington’s regal snow capped summit. With our trek up this peak we had a guest who means more to me than any of these mountains; Cullen’s mom (my fiancée) accompanied us up this impressive mount. What I saw during this hike was a little dog bringing happiness, inspiration, and fun to others. Cullen has a way of leading me to moments that last a lifetime, and to the people that help make these memories worthwhile.

As we strived for the summit, we came upon the ridge just before the final climb to the very ice-coated peak. This is where we met two amazing souls, Ellen and Sharon. Although we met several people during our time on the Signal Ridge Trail, these two women gave off such admirable energy. They were more than impressed with Cullen’s hiking achievements; however, I was more impressed with hearing what they had to say. I loved hearing about their senior dogs, Ellen’s Spaniel and Sharon’s toy poodle, and how they only wished they could experience the mountains with their best friends. These two ladies were more than a pleasure to meet, and it would be great to cross paths with them again.

   

Sarah hardly graces us with her presence on our mountain adventures, but today was different. Today I saw willingness in her that I hadn’t yet seen. Lately, she has be taken back, as I have, with the support and following of Cullen’s Travels, so I believe she wanted to experience the intense friendship that is shared on our hikes, while at the same time bask in the peace and isolation the summit air offers. Sitting atop Mt. Carrigain the view was more precious and gratifying than it has ever been. Seeing her smile at the pinnacle eliminated the priceless beauty these views already had to offer. I experienced a feeling I hadn’t yet shared with her. A feeling indescribable in words, but I felt as though everything else in that moment of time no longer mattered; time was non-existent. All that counted was the insurmountable love I have for her and Cullen, and that is something neither time nor distraction will ever take away.

Throughout our hike, every time we would exchange the lead with fellow hikers, I witnessed such joy in their faces at the site of Cullen. Almost everyone would put their hiking goals on pause, and aim their attention at a small reddish tan Min Pin. A sight most of them admitted they wouldn’t expect to see, but a sight that is worth the witnessing. Cullen will soon be the smallest dog to ever accomplish hiking these 48 peaks, and this is something all fellow hikers admire.

There is no doubt in my mind the pleasures I have on these adventures would never have been if not for Cull dog. Meeting Ellen and Sharon and hearing all about the great things they had to share would have been a conversation never had, seeing Sarah conquer one of the largest and more challenging summits NH has to offer would have been a journey not yet taken, and seeing the happiness of our fellow hikers as they stopped to meet Cullen would be absent, and they would just pass us by as they did the few before. Cullen is a dog that has brought more to life than just the expected. He has guided me to the unanticipated pleasures the world has tucked away; unmasking my blinded eyes so that I can observe the truest kind of happiness. This is something I will always be grateful for. Cullen’s presence on these hikes will forever make for happy trails.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Emerson  

Back To A Balance

I’ve never really believed in superstitions. I always trusted in the free will of this world where we are all living a life unplanned, and never truly believed in the “Everything happens for a reason” statement. However, Cullen has started to open my eyes to a much larger aspect of this life I have yet to understand.

Lately life has been pushing and pulling me in several different directions, and the stress of it all was beginning to take a toll on my mental and physical well being. The attempted hike up Isolation Friday was meant to provide me with the open space and seclusion needed to bring things back to a balance, but unfortunately the dangerously snowy and unrelenting trail forced us to turn back just shy of the summit. As we woke today the inspiration to hike was dwindling, and I almost decided to take the day to sit around the house and relax; what a horrible idea that would have been! Thanks to Cullen’s enthusiasm and eagerness to hike I packed up and we made our way to Mt. Zealand.

The hike up was nothing less than perfect. As we ascended Zealand Trail, which was mostly a smooth gravel path until we reached Zealand Falls, we met several different dogs and their humans. Cullen even seemed to befriend a beautiful English Chocolate Lab named Grizzly Bear (he wasn’t as tough as his name sounded). As we continued to make our way, Grizzly Bear decided to depart from his pack of people and hike with us. Cull dog and Grizzly took turns chasing each other down the trail, but Cullen always stopped just before the point where he couldn’t see or hear me. This is when he would end the chase and bolt back as if to tell me that even though he made a new friend I was still his number one.

time spent with our new friend lasted what seemed like only moments. He shortly decided to turn back and continue with his crew. As Cull dog and I continued we quickly reached Zealand Falls and the hut. The waterfalls we absolutely purifying, and as we sat there for a short break I felt some of my tension wash away with the crashing of the river’s torrents. There is so much to be said for resting your mind and body amongst gushing water, iridescent sunshine, whispering winds, and the love of a best friend.

The rest of the hike up the mountain wouldn't be as smooth. As we trekked along a steady rocky incline through a dark forest full of white birch trees mixing perfectly with conifers, giving way to a primeval look and feel, Cullen stayed in the lead motivating me each and every time he gave a look back to check in. “I’m coming big dog” I would say and he would be off, trotting down trail and navigating his way from rock to rock until it was time to check in again.

We reached the Zeacliff outlook in fair time. These views are what made the hike up Zealand worth it, taking in the fact the actual summit is completely surrounded by trees with absolutely no views. The views here provide an indescribable observation over the Pemigewasset Wilderness. The focal point of this vista was without a doubt Mt. Carrigan. Its rounded dome-like summit towers over the rest in the range, and captures your attention with its undemanding magnificence.

As we sat looking out at the diluted colors of greens, reds, and browns and feeling the calm winds brush by  I realized a theme I hadn't yet come to see, mostly due to my ignorance and lack of effort. There was no mistake in that Cullen came into my life just months before the passing of my mother, there was no mistake I pursued the happiness the forest brought him, and there was no mistake he ensured we made our way to the mountains that day. Cullen has been there each and every time I needed, not sympathy or understanding, but companionship, seclusion, and exploration. He has protected me through such dark and fragile times. Always putting himself in the way of my off-putting moments and leading me back to myself. When all is said and done I trust that he was meant to be my friend, planned by something beyond my intellectual capacity. This 16lb Min Pin was meant to be my protector, and I will continue to trail him from path to path because I know he will continue to lead me back to a sense of balance; back to the person I was meant to be.

As I mentioned earlier, life has been steering me in all kinds of directions, and life has a tendency to push and pull now and then, however when that time comes I only wish you all have a friend as committed as I do to lead you onward. 

Mother's Day. Everyday

Mother’s Day is a day to recognize the true beauty our mom’s present and appreciate all that they are. There is no doubt there are many characteristics our mothers have we do not agree with, however seeing past these traits and loving them immensely is what truly matters.

Mother’s Days is not about saying “thanks and I love you” because the look in your eyes and touch of your affection will describe your care for her more clearly, it’s not about buying them a gift because your time and understanding is priceless, and it’s not about taking them out because just having you and seeing your happiness fulfills their souls beyond our comprehension. Take the day to recognize your mother for all that she is.

Therefore, tomorrow we will be hiking to the top of Zealand Mountain to feel the presence of Bonnie J. Witham. A mother lost too soon. This Mother’s Day we will recognize her for the strength, perseverance, patience, discipline, and most importantly her unconditional love.

May you all have the chance to hold tight the ones who gave you this life, who showed you the true meaning of love, and who deserves to be told how special they are everyday of the year; not just one!   

The Eternal Bond Between Man and Animal

This weekend spent in the Whites Mountains will be one to remember. Our goal for the weekend was to reach the summits of both Mt. Adams and Mt. Washington, which are the two highest and most dangerous peaks the majestic White Mountains of NH have to offer.

When we first picked up Cullen he was just this extremely tiny version of a dog. Being the runt of the litter he weighed no more than 4.5lbs, which made me believe he was not going thrive in size. I never could have envisioned him possessing the ability to conquer mountains. However, the truth of it all is that I did not lead Cullen to these mountains; he was the one who guided me.

We ascended Mt. Adams via Lowes’s Path, which was a basic climb. This route is typically considered to be the “easiest” trek up this mountain, but there is nothing simple when hiking in the Presidential Range. The joy we got from having roots, rocks, leaves, and dirt under us was soaring, however, this only lasted for a little bit. The steep mid-section of Lowe’s Path was completely iced over, and once we got above tree line it was a fair mix of snow and rock; a magnificent indication that these mountains are in between seasons.  After three hours, we reached the pinnacle and before I had a chance to summit Adams, Cullen had already claimed his rock where he would sit to appreciate the views. As we sat together atop of Mt. Adams, Cullen pressed up close to my chest, I felt more connected to him than usual. Our eyes were fixed on the Great Gulf of Washington, but my thoughts were of Cullen.



I thought about a puppy too small to jump on a mattress placed on the floor, a puppy who took refuge in a pillow case because he was terrified of vacuums, and a puppy who would nap for hours after a simple two mile walk to the end of the road. Never did I dream that this same puppy would grow into such a powerful soul with the confidence, strength, and loyalty to lead me up mountains. That same puppy has grow to be much more than just a dog to me, he has grown be to my best friend.



That night we went to sleep early, only to wake up the same. Our thoughts now were of Mt. Washington.  As we reached the trail head of Tuckerman Ravine all doubts that I had about this hike were pushed aside by the willingness and readiness of Cull dog. As soon as his paws hit the trail he was boasting such a proud appearance, which gave me the confidence to triumph over this hike up Washington. We seemed to have no trouble with making friends as we made our way to Tuckerman. Countless numbers of people were blown away by Cullen. Many went as far as to stop and take pictures of him, share a snack, or just talk.

As we reached the bowl, where thousands of skiers go every winter to experience the rush of extreme backcountry skiing; I was instantly blown away by the giant sized ravine before me. As we rested our legs and shared some food I found myself both intimidated and attracted to this challenge. In no time at all we were making our way up this hazardous, icy, and gigantic slope. Most people who hike Tuckerman Ravine in winter do so with durable crampons and an ice axe, and there I was with hiking boots, a single cheap trekking pole, and a Miniature Pinscher. Cullen seemed to have no issue with the climb, but I was a totally different story. My legs were quickly weakened and my traction was less than superior. It was in that moment where I wished I was gifted with four legs and built in crampons.



As we reached the top many people were surprised to see Cullen, blown away at the fact a dog his size made his way up a slope that has claimed a number of lives; both dog and man. However, in that moment my blood and emotions were sky rocketed and there was no time for chit-chat. Cullen and I had a summit to reach, and we were both focused on the rocky path ahead. As we approached the vast summit of Washington I couldn’t help but hold Cullen close. We instantly sat together along the roadway and soaked in the views. Our eyes fixed on the ocean of blue skies and endless valleys of mountains before us. At that moment I trust that he understood, just as well as I, that there was nothing else to do but sit, so we sat, together tangled in an eternal bond between man and animal.

 

Without sounding too melodramatic, Cullen is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received. There was a time, shortly after the early passing of my mother, where I felt so bleak and misplaced. I was engrossed in a darkness that discolored my idea of contentment. However, by simply paying attention to the wants and needs of Cullen I was able to color in that silhouette of happiness I yearned for. By trailing him on his chase for adventure and happiness I was able to find my own. Cullen’s travels led me to the person I wanted to be for the longest time, and all thanks to the extreme compassion, dedication, and patience of one very exceptionally brave little dog.

 

Finding Family

Lately life has been weighing quite heavy on my mind, so I decided we would take the day off and make our way to Mt. Cabot; this being NH’s most northern four-thousand footer. The mountains provided the perfect type of isolation needed to focus on certain thoughts.

Our hike started in a field of snow with the foot prints of past hikers making a clear path to follow. The sky was almost perfectly clear except for a few soft clouds pasted to the morning atmosphere. The sun’s intense warmth was rare for the great northern part of the White Mountains this time of year, but this rarity was deeply welcomed.

(it's a long way up)

As we continued our trek, I was endlessly getting lost in my own thoughts, while at the same time, Cullen was getting lost in all the moose scat and animal markings. Throughout my life I was always distant with my family. Being the youngest raised by a single mom working third shift I never spent much time with them. However, as life progressed my mother was the glue that held our family together. Trying her best to host family dinners and get togethers, and she succeeded quite well at it. However, since her unforeseen passing my connection with the family has diminished, and the need to connect with them is hard to grasp.

I have been criticized by them continuously for my lack of communication and appearances. Yet, the fact remains I was raised in a distant way and the one person who connected me to the rest is now lost.

The elevation gain up Cabot was quite fair, and I didn’t seem to struggle much with this climb. As we reached the summit the wind started to act out, which made the cold slightly uncomfortable. The breeze blowing against my moist clothes made it feel cooler than they truly were.  We took refuge from the chilly air in the cabin at the top. We soaked in the sun’s heat though the windows as we sat and shared a snack. Sitting in the vacant cabin on top of Cabot’s lonesome summit, Cullen’s body heat kept my hands warm enough to journal; I came to accept my place in the family.



We took our time leaving Mt. Cabot. We played like mad on top of that mountain. The joy I get from watching him benefit from the simplest aspects in this life is inexpressible. His outlook on life is something we should all adopt. There is truthfully nothing more beautiful than to live a life where something as simple as spending a day on a mountain’s top fills you with tremendous amounts of joy. I believe if we all took the time to slow down, and escape from this frantic civilization we could learn to appreciate such simple characteristics of the world.



Just a few moments before ending our trip we rested by a few small waterfalls. The company of Cullen and the alluring sounds of water crashing sent me into a deep thought, a thought that only helped me with coming to peace with everything. Family isn’t always the ones whose heart pumps the same blood. What makes our lives full is not the heart within, but the love and loyalty of our closest friends; for they are the ones who keep the heart beating. They are family.

Out of nowhere my train of thought was broken by the full attack of Cullen. His excitement got the best of him, and he attacked me at full force with kisses. As I grabbed him and held him close I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably. We made our mark on Cabot’s hillside that afternoon, but not one that is visible to the naked eye, or even explainable; for as long I live I will bear in mind that moment.  

 

Trails and Tribulations

I believe that this life is not made up of just the “good”, but in order for us to live a life much richer we need to experience and embrace hardships. We need to be hard-pressed and challenged, so when our lives are filled with enjoyment we can have a complete understanding of how “good” these precious moments truly are. Without persevering through adversity one can’t have a complete grasp of self identity. How can you know who you are when you have never been pushed to show your true colors? Without that pressure you are living a life that is a half painted masterpiece.

Yesterday’s hike presented us with such a challenge, and through it we unlocked an aspect of our friendship we hadn’t yet found the key to. We started off hiking Mt. Waumbek, a 7.2 mile hike, before the sun’s warmth had a chance to grace our land. Although the early start left me a little bogged, Cullen didn’t seem to be influenced at all. His pace ensured mine did not falter. As we reached the summit, the air still filled with the mornings haze, we quickly shared a snack and then we were off. Both our hike up and descent went quicker than I had originally thought. By 9:15 am we were back at the car restocking for our second hike of the day up Wildcat Mountain; a hike that would open my eyes.

Between the 2:30am early wake and the trek up Waumbek, my body’s strength depleted quicker than I had anticipated. Strangely enough I found myself struggling up the fair elevation gain Nineteen-Mile Brook Trail had to offer, which would only give way to the remorseless Wildcat Ridge Trail. With each step I felt my body grow weaker.

I did my best to stay fueled up by continuously snacking on carbs and fatty foods and drinking water, but nothing did the trick. Due to the snow and cold, Cullen has to keep moving in order to regulate normal body temperature. Min Pins do not take to the cold like other thicker furred breeds. This means my rests are far and few. I only get to stop for a moment or two, just long enough to catch my breath.

Up until the Wildcat Ridge Trail junction the track was packed down well from previous folks snowshoeing. Their prints left us with a well groomed trail to hike. However, from the very start of Wildcat Ridge Trail it was a completely different story. We were left to follow one set of boot prints and, ironically, one set of paw prints. These paw prints being obviously much larger than Cullen’s.

The deep and air-soft white powder drained me rapidly. The snow caved on every step, which on such a dramatic incline made it almost impossible. I felt my body’s strength bottom out, and I was no longer continuing with the use of muscle energy. I found myself running off the will to succeed. The need to accomplish kept one foot in front of the other. However, in such a challenge that same will and need is not always enough. When every step gets harder than the last and every thought is of quitting, you need more. Cullen’s friendship and determination fulfilled that need.

He would continuously turn back to check in on me. Without the need of verbal communication his eyes told me everything I needed. That’s the beauty of friendship. When one is weak the other is strong, and will lead you through privation, all without having to speak one word. The purity in the eyes can give you all the motivation and strength needed to overcome. For that is exactly what he had done on the mountain. That day his fortitude would lead me over 6 peaks (2 being 4k), through 18miles, and 10 hours of hiking.

I know Cullen’s physical strength will diminish, and his time on this planet will someday come to an end, but the lessons he has taught will last well beyond my days.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. We all must experience adversity, and at times you find each step getting harder than the last, but trust that a true friend will be there by your side. This friend will push you and provide you with the energy and strength your body lacks. Today’s pain shines new light on tomorrow’s pleasures, and helps define who we are. This pain will help reveal what is truly important in life. Never let these moments pass by, but grasp them with both hands and hold tight; For they are what makes us who we are.  

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